According to Starfleet, my handling of the new Kobayashi Maru scenario 'further blurred the line between madness and genius'.

I don't really know what that means.

Anyway, not long after I finished my Deep Pan Double Tribble Surprise (With Extra Hair), A Holo-Admiral from Starfleet command called me on a an ultra secure emergency frequency and requested that I power down my phasers immediately and return to Deep Space Nine.

I said that the Holo-Sisqo had gone mad and that I really ought to destroy the station before an intergalactic incident occured. Holo-Admiral sounded incredibly distressed and after a long silence he told me I had passed the test. I asked him whether my thinking could be perceived as being highly original. After another long pause he agreed that it could be and that I would get a certificate with my name on it and some vouchers - which they don't usually provide.

I shouted loudly and did a forward roll/karate chop to celebrate.

Sadly, I managed to rip my shirt on the rough edge of a Klingon gantry.

Apparently, there was some kind of fault with the Holo-Deck so the Holo-Admiral said that I had to 'end the simulation manually'. This meant docking with DS9 and going directly back to my cell because ending the simulation any other way would 'interfere with my brain pulses and alpha thought pattern tidal waves'.

I think that's what he said anyway.

Admirals are paid to know a lot of useless jargon like this so I thought best not to argue and just head back to my cell.

There was a burger waiting for me - another gift for my strategic brilliance. It tasted funny, but I was hungry. I fell asleep shortly after that. I was pretty tired from all my original thinking.

When I woke up, the command crew were present and seemed quite relieved.

They were probably worried that I had been hurt.