Spock bought his sister on board today.

I didn't even know he had one.

She was hot, hot, hot.

Spock gave me the dirtiest look when I kissed her hand and offered her a tour of the ship. She readily accepted and eyed me like she was going to eat me for dinner. After I had showed her the usual suspects, I asked her if she would would like to see the inside of my quarters.

I stole a moment to myself and asked the ships computer to set my room to 'mating ambience.'

We got to my quarters and sure enough, Marvin Gayes 'lets get it on' was oozing out of my custom made speakers. (they're in the shape of my face.) We sat down on my officer class Sofa. I elected to use my subtlest tactics and my smoothest moves to seduce and carouse this classy alien lady.

"Would you like to mate?"

"I would."

"Excellent."

I found out that Vulcans only mate once every 7 years. I also found out that Vulcan ladies like having their ears pleasured by federation manhood, especially 'custom shop models'. Looks like my modifications were worthwhile after all. She said her last time was rubbish and she ended up with a baby. She had to give it up for adoption due to tragic circumstances; She didn't want it. Needless to say, I promised her no such mistakes would occur on my watch and our time together would be strictly recreational.

I spent another few days in sick bay.

She got quite positionally creative. I forgot that vulcans are 3 times as strong as humans due to the gravity on their planet. That's why they rarely mate outside of their own kind.

Spock is embarrased and is not talking to me now because rumours of my performance have spread throughout the ship.

Haa ha!