Khan and I played Squash yesterday.
He's been trying to goad me into a game for the last few months.
We have this tradition of competing every time we meet. Normal people just go out and chat, but somehow we always get sucked into a game of some kind.
Last time it was go karting.
He was about to secure victory when one of his tyres mysteriously exploded just before the finish line. I managed to sneak past and win. He claimed that I phaser blasted his off side rear wheel, but I think he's just a sore loser.
The time before that we went paintballing.
He was about to secure victory for his team by shooting me in the chest. Unfortunately the gas canister on his gun ran out. He claimed that I had deliberately lent him a half-empty one after his mysteriously went missing. I told him that I could never be so treacherous. I shot him in the eyes, just to be sure of the win.
Anyway, I won again yesterday.
We set up a Squash court in one of the larger transporter rooms. He was just about to secure victory by winning the final point when his racquet mysteriously disappeared mid-swing. Needless to say I won the point and the game. Khan was furious, claiming that I had beamed the racquet out of his hands just so I could win. I pointed to the ground where the racquet was and told him he must have dropped it. He asked me why the racquet was a different colour.
Heh heh! Different colour, indeed.....
Crazy genetically modified man!
posted by Captain Berk @ 10:35 am
11 Comments:
To think that Khan would have the audacity to suggest that you cheat! He's just jealous because his genetic enhancements have made him crazy and he was villified and put into cryogenic hibernation, while you get to command the finest ship in the fleet.
Next game, you guys should three-way-tag-team wrestling match. He can have Captain Koloth and Chekov, and you can have Spock during the pon-farr and a rabid mugatu! It's the perfect opportunity to roll, chop, and tear your shirt and you can be in the ring for all of the heroic moments!
Sounds like Khan is just a whiney little loser. Next time you see him, just laugh in his face. That should help build his character.
I feel sorry for him alot of mysterious things seem to happen to him
Khan needs to stop playing games if he takes them that seriously.
I think perhaps you are thinking so far outside the box that his piffling little superbrain can't keep up.
Any Khan on a squash court ought not to be taken lightly.
This Khan just sounds like a talentless hack. I'm guessing the original racquet was pink with a white grip. Perhaps my mind's eye has juxtaposed the colours.
On that note, have you tried Racquetball, Captain? Shorter implement, bigger head, bigger balls (if, like me, you're prone to losing the first one in your opponent's ear). The game reminds me of '80s porn flicks every time I strap on a headband, if you know what I mean.
Good times, for sure.
Morri: I don't do cults. Khan is a cult leader. I don't want to end up like him.
Doug: You've given me a great idea..
Xavier: That's good advice.
Vamp: It's me you should feel sorry for! Being accused of cheating, not having enough alien ladies to mate with..
Vegeta: I agree
UTMG: I think you're fishing for a place on my bridge.
Andy: I do know what you mean. I starred in a couple of erotic squash epics during a short stay on the planet squash. 'Ball Girls' and 'Unforced Error' are two of my favourites. My acting was exceptional, and I bought real pathos to the role of pool cleaner
Captain: I have important news from Sirius 1. Email me at once. richardquickesq@yahoo.com
Genetically modified men can have short tempers. Be careful there.
How dare he even think that he could win against you Captain Berk!
Thanks for the offer of your ship for my wedding, Cap. I'm waiting for my insurance agent to get back to me. Here's a good trick I use in competing with warrior Klingons. Challenge him to a game of Jarts lawn darts. If you are winning, continue until he's infuriated. If he starts to pull ahead, call in Federation Troopers to arrest him, and laugh as they lead him away in chains. Destroy his ship and all witnesses. Lawn darts are illegal throughout all Federation territories. I have done away with many political enemies and business rivals planting jarts on them. RQ, E.
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