Everyone else is on Christmas/New Years shore leave.
It's just me and the computer left, so I am a little bit bored.
We spent this morning playing hide and seek.
I went and hid first. Whilst the computer was counting to one hundred (at the rate of the average human child), I chose a hiding place. The torpedo tubes seemed like a good bet, so I hid in there. It was greasy but I didn't mind. The soiling of my garments and the lack of fellow officers gave me an excuse to strip off and run wildly to the supply deck for new clothes when I was eventually discovered. I had no doubt the computer would be unable to locate me for some time in such an unusual hidey hole.
I waited for a while and then I leapt from the tube screaming 'Victory!' at the top of my voice.
The computer said it had taken 0.000000001 seconds to find me, but when it had tried to contact me via comms over an hour ago, I did not respond.
I accused the computer of being a sore loser and a crybaby, as I had received no messages. It said 'sore loser' and 'crybaby' did not compute.
Tearing off my oily top, I ran off to the supply deck in my pants, whooping and hollering, the thrill of success coursing through my veins.
Later, the computer made me go back to the weapons room. I found my comm link on the floor by the torpedo tube.
I must have dropped it when I ripped my greasy top off.
posted by Captain Berk @ 12:09 pm
17 Comments:
Hmmmm, I would have liked to have seen your success dance!
You should make hide 'n' seek a requirement amongst yourself and the female members of your crew. Hopefully one of them will hide in the torpedo tube and a similar ending will be the result.
Perhaps it would have been better had you played hide and seek with Uhura rather than the computer.
I think the computer just has it out for you.
Runnin naked as a jaybird , rounded the corner an there she was right in front of me.
None other than Whoopie...
and she wanted to squeeze me buns.
Tune in next time when Berk say's
AHHHHH AHHHHHHH AHHHHHH
That is certainly the glamerous life you Star Fleet captains lead.
How many shirts do you go through in a week? 40? 50?
I think it's probably more like 60.
I hear he keeps at least 3 taiwanese sweat shops in business just making his shirts.
You've reminded me of when I was little. Very little.
I told my younger sister we should play hide and seek.
I then told her where to hide me.
And then she closed the closet door. And being too short to open it again, she had to get a chair. But being too young to know any logic, she put the chair up against the door and tried to open the door.
We both fell asleep. Me in the closet and her outside. Until my mum found us.
Trin: It was beautiful. Think Roger Daltrey arm pumping colliding with Michael Jackson foot magic.
Doug: I'll try and get you a job rewriting the manual at starfleet. I would like to hide in their torpedo tubes.
Picard: She won't let me anymore.
Trunks: I think you are right. Stupid machine.
Jabba: I love your outfit. I bought one just like that in the Mos Eisley cantina.
Professor: It's not all hide and seek. Sometimes it's catch and kill!
Oneida & Toast: Something like that, yes. Have you been stalking me? If so, then I am faintly aroused.
Jen: He he! You have the valid excuse of chhildhood on your side. I am a full grown man making these kind of mistakes. (repeatedly)
Smart-assed computers rarely survive the day on my planet.
Captain, have you heard of gravity?
Jen, that's a cute story. The logic of the child mind can be most amusing.
By the way, I've purchased a real live website domain.
It's www.dawsondays.com
Update accordingly Please!
So much grease and nudity and no one besides an automaton to share it with... tragic.
I'm sad cpt. berk and his 'unique' take on things has gone away. Hope you aren't stuck in the torpedo tube forever
I agree with you LT Cmdr. I never thought i'd say this but I kind of miss his comments on my blog, where the only one who understands what he's written is Captian Berk himself.
you need to post more!
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