I have spent the last few weeks stranded in space.

The ships computer developed a fault. Maybe it was something with the bacon sandwich I accidently dropped into it's central processor during a particularly long game of hide and seek that Khan and I got into last month.

Anyway, the computer wouldn't go to warp speed without spending an hour running self-diagnostics first. I was late for every appointment for a 2 day period.

It only got worse.

Instead of the high tech cast iron & bakelite control panels I was used to, I wandered onto the bridge one morning to find they had all been replaced with what appeared to be a lone computer. It was rubbish. When I turned it upside down, all the keys fell out.

I still can't find the '#'

I asked the computer what happened, but there was no response.

Spock said the computer had developed Obsessive Compulsive Disorder combined with Alzheimers v5.0. To alleviate the problem, he had dug out his Sinclair Spectrum ZX81 to bypass the main system and use what little memory we had left. 48k to be exact. I could run 'Wonderboy' but not the gravitational field simulation software that Spock needed for his science project.

I tried to console him with the high score i got, but it didn't seem to work. He evacuated the ship and suggested that I try and sort the problem out, as I had caused it.

This morning I got my highest ever score.

No one was around to see it though.

Shame.