Some fellow called Q visited me the other day.
I was on the bridge of the Enterprise listening to the greatest hits of MC hammer (a 20th Century rap legend) when a man appeared on the bridge out of nowhere.
I was quite annoyed because I was practising for an upcoming karaoke competition. I told him to go away.
He started banging on about how I was going to complete a number of tasks to prove that humankind was worthy of continued existence in the galaxy. If I failed he said he would destroy all humans in the universe. To prove it, he said he would destroy the Klingon Warbird we were currently sharing an orbit with unless I agreed to his demands, rendering the peace talks due in a few days redundant.
I munched thoughtfully on a bagel, considering my options.
I told him that i'd seen fridges packing more heat than him and he couldn't destroy a meat waffle.
He blew up the Warbird.
"What do you think of me now?!?" he bellowed, laughing wildly, clearly gleefull at the thought of yanking my strings.
"I think you're very helpfull" I said, giving Sulu the nod to flee at maximum speed. "You saved me a few photon torpedos there. Thanks!"
"But.. wha?...." he stammered.
"Well, I generally prefer war to peace" I mused, taking another bite out of my bagel. "There are so many more opportunities for me to do forward rolls and tear my shirt off. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to practice my Hammer dance."
He disappeared in a huff after that.
I guess the puppetmaster doesn't like being puppeteered like one of his puppets.
posted by Captain Berk @ 12:15 pm
9 Comments:
now you can blame Q when Starfleet command wants an explaination and avoid another inquiry
Excellent move, Captain! He may be omnipotent, but he can't compete with you!
I've met up with him told him to go bother kakarot After spending an hour Q with was on the floor in the fetal postion. good to know the Clown's stupidity can be used as a weapon against the omniptont types
Good work.
I'm with Vamp. That was an hormonally inspired tactical move.
I think Q isn't ready for humans of the 23rd Century.
Sounds like Q has a lot to learn about Starship Captains.
The great thing about war is that soldiers who survive it have a lot of room for rapid promotions. The downside for soldiers who don't survive? Well that's fairly self-explanatory.
I think DDC is a doctor.
Vamp: Great tactical thinking. I'll request a transfer for you to replace Checkov if you like?
Doug: I take pills to prevent omnipotency.
Vegeta: Well, Q is just a big baby.
Toast: I try to avoid thinking with my head. It usually gets me in trouble.
Ddc: He could be. Who is this mysterious 'Hilarious'?
Q: That would certainly appear to be the case. I dread to think think how he would cope with 20th Century humans.
Tanalee: Picards tactical mastery should have taught him that starfleets finest are not be messed with, and neither am I.
Prof: You get branded a hero, despite what you actually do. I have had to sacrifice the odd crew member here and there, but it's always for my greater good.
Andy: He can replace Bones then. He's getting a bit shaky with the tricorder these days.
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